It was the premium suite. Floor-to-ceiling windows, king bed with a cream duvet, a champagne tower that took forty-five minutes to assemble. Anna, 30, from Chicago, was the one who'd booked it — painstakingly, with a color-coded spreadsheet — and she watched exactly zero of her careful planning survive contact with eight women who'd been on a party bus for two hours. The champagne tower lasted eleven minutes. The cream duvet is now a cautionary tale. (The hotel charged $320 for 'linens and miscellaneous.' Nobody is sure what 'miscellaneous' covered and everyone is too scared to ask.) But the real tragedy is what happened to the ring light Anna rented specifically for 'tasteful, flattering content.' Absolutely none of the content was tasteful.