When the ‘Quiet One’ Has Three Drinks and Zero Remaining Inhibitions

Everyone in the friend group agreed: Sophie was the responsible one. Sophie, 26, an accountant from Portland, brought a first aid kit to the bachelorette weekend. Sophie made a laminated itinerary. Sophie’s laminated itinerary lasted until approximately 9:15pm on Friday, at which point Sophie discovered she actually loves tequila. What followed is documented in seventeen photos nobody planned to take and one video that was immediately sent to a group chat titled ‘DO NOT SHARE THIS.’ (It was shared.) The laminated itinerary is, according to witnesses, somewhere at the bottom of the hotel pool. And Sophie? Sophie has no memory of the pool. None at all.

The Pole Dancing Class That Went Extremely Off-Script

The booking confirmation said ‘beginner friendly.’ It did not specify that Megan, 32, former gymnast from Denver, would treat ‘beginner friendly’ as a personal insult and immediately perform a move that the instructor later described as ‘genuinely not in any of our lesson plans.’ The other seven women in the bachelorette group spent most of the class watching with their mouths open. The instructor gave Megan a free t-shirt and her business card. (Megan does not need a business card — she has the photos, and the photos are enough.) The bride, to her credit, looked genuinely proud. The bride’s mother, who had been sent three photos in real-time by a well-meaning aunt, was less proud.

The Hotel Suite That Lost Its Security Deposit in Under Four Hours

It was the premium suite. Floor-to-ceiling windows, king bed with a cream duvet, a champagne tower that took forty-five minutes to assemble. Anna, 30, from Chicago, was the one who’d booked it — painstakingly, with a color-coded spreadsheet — and she watched exactly zero of her careful planning survive contact with eight women who’d been on a party bus for two hours. The champagne tower lasted eleven minutes. The cream duvet is now a cautionary tale. (The hotel charged $320 for ‘linens and miscellaneous.’ Nobody is sure what ‘miscellaneous’ covered and everyone is too scared to ask.) But the real tragedy is what happened to the ring light Anna rented specifically for ‘tasteful, flattering content.’ Absolutely none of the content was tasteful.