The Steno Machine Is Now Sold Out On Amazon — This Is Real Life

In what may be the single greatest product success story of the decade, the Stentura 8000LX steno machine — a piece of equipment previously purchased almost exclusively by working court reporters — has been completely sold out on every major retail platform since early last month. Third-party sellers are listing used machines for four times their retail value, and at least three different men have posted unboxing videos of their brand new steno machines despite having absolutely no idea how to use them. One man simply captioned his: ‘Step one complete. She will notice me.’

Legal Professionals Are Furious — And Honestly That Makes It Funnier

The legal community’s response has been a masterclass in barely concealed outrage, with several prominent attorneys taking to LinkedIn — LinkedIn! — to pen lengthy essays about the ‘trivialization of a highly skilled profession,’ completely unaware that their stern posts were being screenshot and shared in the exact same fan groups they were complaining about. One retired judge wrote a 1,200-word op-ed titled ‘Stenography Is Not Entertainment’ which has since received 200,000 views, a comment section full of heart-eye emojis, and zero actual engagement with its central argument.