Grocery Store Wine Aisles Have Become The New Tinder

Multiple reports from across the country confirm that men are now lingering in the wine aisle for upwards of forty-five minutes, picking up bottles, squinting at labels, and loudly asking anyone nearby if they think the Côtes du Rhône ‘has more complexity than the Malbec.’ Witnesses describe an unusual number of spontaneous conversations, exchanged numbers, and at least two confirmed first dates that started between the Bordeaux and the Prosecco shelf.

Local Wine Bars Report Men Attempting The Vocabulary

Sommeliers at upscale restaurants nationwide are experiencing something unprecedented: male customers actually attempting to describe the wine. Phrases like ‘I’m getting a lot of, like… fruit? And maybe some… wood?’ are being heard nightly. One New York sommelier told us, ‘Six months ago these guys were ordering whatever was cheapest. Now they’re swirling, sniffing, and saying the word ‘terroir.’ Vivienne changed the industry.’